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Duotone terrace — saffron brief on the left, garden-folded ledger on the right.
Distressed white text beneath reads "I LIED
A horizontal white dashed line separates the upper text from smaller white lowercase text reading "commas save lives
flanked by green pine trees
A monochromatic peach-toned illustration depicts John Matrix shirtless
Doug Masters treating an Aiwa cassette deck like essential avionics equipment is either criminal negligence or peak mid-sortie dedication
John Matrix Lumber Co. - Unisex Sweatshirt ut2-rebuilt Distressed white text beneath readsRetiring from spec ops to carry logs sounds peaceful until the customer retention strategy involves holding people off cliffs by one ankle. Bennett showing up in chainmail really complicates the small business loan. Inspired by Commando. The Details: A cartoon illustration of John Matrix in a white tank top carries a brown log over one shoulder, flanked by green pine trees. A gray crosscut saw banner with brown handles displays dark block serif text
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